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Why you aren’t living as you want to

This blogpost is written by Shadab Husain, who is currently working with King George Medical Hospital in Lucknow. This is the first guest post by Mr. Husain. Please note that Eyeway's Blog entries reflect the opinions of the author and contributors, meant to encourage debate and discussion, and not necessarily Score Foundation's official policy position.
Your friends urge you to forget your beloved who had dumped you and you too feel you should carve a new path of life – yet you continue to crave for her because you hope that one day that cruel creature will heal your wounds with her angelic love.
Alas, if you had cut the hope of having her back, it would have freed you from the prison you have caged yourself into.
Alas, if you had known that you’ll never be able to look as the sighted, it would have freed you from the prison you’ve caged yourself into.
Alas, if you had known that winning the approval of others is bullshit, you would have been more courageous despite your blindness.
Alas, if you had known that living on your own terms is bred in the nature of successful people, it would have made you more confident despite your blindness.
Alas, if you had known that most folks around you fit in mediocre class, you would have formed a solid faith in yourself despite your blindness.
But do you know the core cause that has prevented you from living the life you deserve and desire for?
No, it isn't your blindness.
It's actually your inordinate desire of impressing others.
Whether it's your choice of not using a white cane or avoiding other task (asking for water in a gathering, attending parties, going in front of people, buying medicines) it's your desire of conveying to others that you aren't a substandard human because of your blindness.
In the process of impressing others you do things that put you at a loss: you ignore your inner voice and you try to run away from your real nature – but in vain for you’re often caught red-handed.
Remember the last time you spoke to someone not realising he isn't there? But you're strong-willed (or obstinate) and don't give up the desire to impress others.
The only way you can live a liberated and adventurous life with fire sparkling in your eyes is by impressing only one person.
Any guesses who that person can be? Relatives? Neighbours? The beautiful lady who dumped you and flew away to prey upon someone else?
The only person you should strive to impress is your own self. Your mind, your soul, your subconscious, or whatever you call it. And you can't fool it by taking no actions and only repeating to yourself that you're courageous, confident, smart, because it's intelligent and hence sees the harmony between your words and actions.
It may have happened with you that your friends and family members had told you that you’re good. But deep down you would have felt as if you don't deserve that admiration.
Because your reality isn’t hidden from your inner self and on getting something wrong it shouts that it’s a lie. If you're able to impress your own self, the person who is recording your each action since decades and who knows you better than anyone, you won't care a toss about the approval of others.
Impressing your inner self isn’t easy. You’ve to dare yourself to do things that you fear and find difficult. You’ll require throwing away the challenges that terrify you. Challenges that bombard your mind with horrifying thoughts. Challenges that make you feel as if you’ll be crushed.
It’s difficult, but the dividends you reap will be superb. At each step of your journey to impress your inner self, keep the following advice in mind:
Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash. General George S. Patton, the Commander of the U.S. Third Army in World War II
Make a decision: do you want to remain imprisoned because of your inordinate desire of impressing others? Or do you want to look strait in the eyes of life and live with an enviable fire around you?

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